They say that writing is therapy, so here goes …
By Matthew Taylor
Well, I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to do a late night e-mail check. It served as a reminder that my friends haven’t forgotten about me; they’re always there when I need them most.A sampling of the messages I received: “30-3? Is that a misprint???”
“Let me check with my copywriter, he is good at this type of thing: ‘Could the O’s have really given up 30 runs to set a new MLB record? Must have been a typo, right?’”
“Did the Ravens lose 30-3 tonight?”
“30 runs?!?! How are you? How does one handle a jackhammering like that?”
Who needs enemies when you’ve got friends?
Here are some of the random thoughts that came to mind as I attempted to handle the jackhammering that was Wednesday night’s doubleheader:
-Major League Baseball really needs a mercy rule.-Good news, bad news.
The good news is that the O’s are the top story in the sports world.
The bad news …
-Isn’t there something to report about Michael Vick?
-Perhaps tonight’s game was an informal tribute to Wild Bill Hagy, because I sure wanted to drink nine beers and toss a cooler from the upper deck.
-Actually, I’ve got to think that Kevin Millar was somehow responsible for all of this. He’s just playing a cruel joke on Dave Trembley.
“Congratulations on the job, Dave. We lost by 27 runs. You got punked!”
I’m also pretty sure that Amber Theoharis was an accomplice.
-If I were an O’s player, I would’ve charged the mound … while my own pitcher was on it. Sure, it’s unprecedented, but so is giving up 30 runs in the modern baseball era.
-On the other hand, if I were an O’s beat reporter and I had one question to ask during the post-game press conference, it would be this:
“After a close loss we typically hear your players say, ‘I’d rather get blown out than lose a game like this.’ So is it safe to say that the guys in the clubhouse are pretty happy tonight?”
-Look at the upside, O’s fans: we no longer have to explain to other fans that our bullpen is the problem.
-Does anyone honestly believe that gamblers will bet the under on the O’s again this season?
-And to think, I was pissed off at work when I checked the score and it went from 3-0 Orioles to 5-3 Rangers before I left the office. By the time I got home it was 14-3.
-Number of runs the O’s scored in their seven previous games combined: 39. Number of runs the Rangers scored in Wednesday’s doubleheader: 39.
-As long as we’re looking at the numbers – Texas had more RBIs in one game than Jay Gibbons has all season.
-Courtesy of the Carroll County Times: “To put the loss in even further perspective, Erik Bedard has allowed 31 runs in his last 17 starts while it took four Orioles pitchers just one night to surrender a run fewer.”
-(Imaginary) Transcript from the O’s bullpen, courtesy of “Wired Wednesdays” –
Brian Burress: “Okay, dare.”
Other relievers: “We dare you to give up eight runs in less than a full inning.”
Rob Bell: “Okay, dare.”
Other relievers: “We dare you to give up seven more runs.”
Paul Schuey: “Well, I know I’m going to regret this, but dare ….”
-I couldn’t even come up with 30 curse words during the game.
-Do you think Dave Trembley wishes he was on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” … “I never said it was my final answer!”
I really need some sleep.