With Red Sox fans in the rearview mirror for this season, it’s time to look at some potential bumper stickers for next year
by Matthew Taylor
I promised my wife before Sunday’s O’s – Red Sox game that I wouldn’t engage with the visiting fans. I kept my word, with one minor exception. When a drunken Boston fan attempted to start a “Yankees Suck” chant, I yelled, “So do the Red Sox … you’re both the same.” You know times are tough when I’m using the Yankees in my own team’s defense. I feel so dirty.
Having kept my frustration bottled up this past weekend, I need a release. So, in the new tradition of Camden Yards vendors selling Boston gear, I present my list of slogans for bumper stickers that can be sold to Red Sox Nation next season.
“Tired of the Yankees? Try Yankees Light.”
“Red Sox Nation: You’re guaranteed to sell more beer while we’re in town.”
“It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you annoy the locals.”
“You’d be arrogant, too, if your team won one championship in 86 years.”
“We hate the Yankees; they’re the only team that can outspend us.”
“$52 million bid + $52 million contract = 4.44 ERA.”
“Pahk ya cah near Camden Yahds.”
“A-Rod sucks … because we couldn’t get him.”
“We love Manny … because we couldn’t get rid of him.”